I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
