So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
