just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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