Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
