The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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