I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
