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how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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