I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
