like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
