And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
