No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
