Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
