There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
