i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have aggressive nipples.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
