Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
