In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
