I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
