If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Mom said you looked used
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
