The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Your cock deserves a montage
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
