I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
