'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
