Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
