Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
