im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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