It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is my gift to your gina
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
