I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
