Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
