If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
