i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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