I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
