and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
