Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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