I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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