she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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