sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
