Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
