I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
