I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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