So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
