I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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