So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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