he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
