she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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