I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
