I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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