I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
