at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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