covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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