Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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