sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
