God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
