ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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